i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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