We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
