I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I want to have your abortion
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Swine flu is the new snow day.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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