i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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