Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize