i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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