i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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