How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
