Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
