Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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