i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
