I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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