Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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