Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
