You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
