Christians are straight up FREAKS
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize