Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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