you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Randomize
