I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
