Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
