my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
