I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
