i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
