So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
