so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
