i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You dont lie about slip and slides
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
