i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
