He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize