I want to stick my p in your. b.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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