I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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