how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
