maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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