It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She bit a glass in half.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize