Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
