my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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