It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
there's paper in my vomit.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
