We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
