have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
