My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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