so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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