Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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