I want to have your abortion
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just found a bag of teeth...
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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