Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
