i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
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