A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You brought string cheese to the strip club
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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