why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize