We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
