I accidentally burped into my bong.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
