idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
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