it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
