my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
