I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
he laminated a picture of his dick.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
