peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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