I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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