Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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