So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
