Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
