Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
