Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize