I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
