I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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