Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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