If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
