all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
